By Siyona Varghese
At six years old, children are navigating a new social world filled with games, group activities, classroom rules, and shared spaces. While these experiences help them grow socially, they also introduce inevitable conflicts. Disagreements over turns, rules, or personal space are common at this age—not because children are misbehaving, but because they are learning how to express themselves, negotiate, and compromise.
Teaching conflict resolution at this stage is not about eliminating disagreements altogether. Instead, it’s about helping children understand what fairness looks like, how to manage strong emotions, and how to express their needs respectfully. These early lessons form the basis of empathy, problem-solving, and emotional regulation that they carry into later childhood and adulthood.
Why Conflict Happens at Age Six
Six-year-olds are becoming more aware of fairness, rules, and peer relationships. They can express opinions and understand simple group dynamics, but their emotional regulation and communication skills are still developing. As a result, when children feel that something is “unfair” or when others don’t follow agreed-upon rules, they may react with frustration, withdrawal, or anger.
Conflicts can arise over:
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Taking turns in games or activities
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Sharing materials or space
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Disagreements about how to play
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Hurt feelings from unkind words or exclusion
These situations are not signs of poor behavior; rather, they are natural learning opportunities where children can be guided to understand different perspectives and develop constructive responses.
Teaching the Building Blocks of Conflict Resolution
Emotional Awareness
Children need to recognize and name their emotions before they can manage them. Encouraging children to use words like “angry,” “left out,” “frustrated,” or “confused” helps them make sense of what they’re feeling. Naming the emotion is the first step toward controlling it.
Active Listening
At age six, children begin to understand that others have different thoughts and feelings. Teaching them to listen—not just wait to speak—can help them understand the other person’s point of view. Practicing turn-taking in conversations, making eye contact, and repeating back what they heard builds empathy and understanding.
Using Words Instead of Actions
Many conflicts escalate because children hit, grab, or shout when frustrated. Helping them practice calm verbal expressions such as “I don’t like that,” or “Can I have a turn now?” gives them tools to assert themselves without aggression. Reinforcing the idea that words are more effective than actions reduces impulsive responses.
Identifying the Problem
Guiding children to articulate the source of the conflict is key. Rather than focusing on blame, they can learn to describe the situation. For example, “We both wanted the same marker” is a clearer and more productive starting point than “She won’t share.”
Brainstorming Solutions
Problem-solving is a teachable skill. Children can be encouraged to think of fair solutions together: taking turns, using a timer, or finding another activity. Adults can offer suggestions initially, but over time, children learn to suggest compromises on their own.
Role of Adults in Guiding Conflict Resolution
Adults play an essential role in modeling and mediating conflict resolution. Instead of simply stepping in to deliver consequences or separate children, adults can:
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Stay calm and neutral during a conflict
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Validate each child’s perspective without judgment
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Ask guiding questions to help clarify the issue
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Support both children in finding and agreeing on a solution
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Praise efforts to solve problems respectfully
This process helps children feel heard and understood, and reinforces the idea that disagreements can be resolved without punishment or avoidance.
Creating a Fairness Culture
Beyond individual incidents, children benefit from environments that consistently model and reinforce fairness. Classrooms and homes where rules are clear, inclusive behaviors are celebrated, and empathy is practiced help prevent conflicts and support resolution when they do occur.
Teaching group values like:
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“Everyone gets a turn”
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“We listen when others speak”
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“We treat others the way we want to be treated”
can become part of daily routines and classroom agreements.
Books, storytelling, and group discussions about conflict are also powerful tools. Stories that show characters resolving problems through communication and compromise give children real-world examples they can relate to and learn from.
Long-Term Benefits
Children who learn conflict resolution skills at an early age gain tools that extend far beyond the playground or classroom. These include:
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Emotional regulation during stressful interactions
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Assertiveness balanced with empathy
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Ability to negotiate and compromise
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Confidence in social interactions
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A strong sense of fairness and justice
These abilities not only contribute to academic success and positive peer relationships, but also support mental health, leadership, and resilience as children grow.
Conclusion
Conflict among six-year-olds is normal, expected, and even necessary. It offers repeated chances to build emotional understanding, respectful communication, and mutual problem-solving. With consistent support from adults, children can transform everyday disagreements into moments of personal and social growth.
By teaching children how to “play fair” in both games and relationships, we lay the groundwork for a generation that understands not just how to win—but how to collaborate, compromise, and care.
