By Siyona Varghese
Parenting young children is rewarding, but it is also demanding. The daily cycle of school drop-offs, meals, bedtime routines, and emotional support can easily overwhelm even the most devoted parents. When both partners are involved, the intention is usually to share responsibilities. Yet in reality, one parent may feel like they are doing more, while the other feels unappreciated or criticized. This is when power struggles arise.
The truth is, parenting is not about keeping score. It is about building a partnership where responsibilities are shared fairly, communication stays open, and both parents feel valued. By shifting the focus from control to collaboration, families can create a smoother, more supportive environment for everyone especially the children.
Why Power Struggles Happen
Parenting disagreements often stem from stress, different expectations, or unspoken resentments. For example, one parent may expect the other to automatically handle bedtime, while the other assumes chores should be split equally. If these expectations are not discussed, frustration builds.
Other times, parents may approach situations differently. One might be stricter about routines, while the other is more relaxed. Without compromise, these differences can turn into conflicts. What matters most is not that both parents are identical in style, but that they respect and balance each other’s approaches.
Moving from Competition to Collaboration
Have Honest Conversations: Instead of assuming who does what, sit down together and talk openly about responsibilities. Discuss household tasks, childcare duties, and emotional support. Ask each other: What feels fair? What feels overwhelming? When everything is on the table, it is easier to create a balanced plan.
Play to Each Other’s Strengths: Every parent has strengths. One might enjoy cooking with the kids, while the other thrives during bedtime routines. Sharing tasks based on comfort and strengths not only reduces stress but also ensures children get quality interaction from both parents.
Keep Flexibility in Mind: Life with young kids rarely goes exactly as planned. Some days, one parent might need to step in more because the other is exhausted or busy. Viewing responsibilities as a partnership rather than a rigid 50-50 split helps avoid resentment.
Avoid the “Scoreboard Mentality”: Keeping mental tallies of who did what leads to conflict, not teamwork. Instead of focusing on fairness in each moment, look at balance over time. Supporting each other during the harder weeks helps the partnership feel stronger overall.
Communicate with Respect: Disagreements are natural, but how they are handled matters. Avoid blaming or criticizing. Replace “You never help with bedtime” with “I feel really tired doing bedtime alone. Could we share it this week?” Respectful communication shifts the focus from blame to problem-solving.
The Benefits of True Parenting Partnerships
When responsibilities are shared fairly and respectfully, the benefits extend beyond the parents. Children see a model of teamwork and cooperation in action. They learn that family life is about supporting one another. Parents also feel less stressed and more connected, both to their children and to each other.
Couples who actively collaborate also strengthen their own relationship. Rather than being pulled apart by resentment, they are united by a shared sense of purpose. Small acts like acknowledging each other’s efforts or stepping in without being asked help maintain a spirit of partnership even in busy seasons.
Final Thoughts
Raising young children is not easy, but it becomes lighter when both parents see themselves as teammates rather than opponents. Power struggles drain energy, while partnerships build resilience. By sharing responsibilities with openness, respect, and flexibility, parents can create a healthier, happier family life.
At the end of the day, children thrive not because everything is perfect, but because they grow up in a home where their parents work together with love, patience, and teamwork at the core.
