By Siyona Varghese
Play is often seen as a simple childhood pastime, but for children, it is so much more it is the language through which they explore the world, express themselves, and connect with others. For children with autism, play takes on an even deeper significance. It can serve as a bridge to communication, a pathway to understanding emotions, and a foundation for building social bonds that might otherwise feel out of reach.
Children on the autism spectrum often face challenges in areas such as communication, joint attention, and understanding social cues. These differences can make it difficult to initiate or sustain peer interactions in traditional play settings. However, research and practice consistently show that play when guided thoughtfully can become one of the most effective tools for nurturing social connection and emotional growth.
Understanding the Role of Play in Autism
Play helps all children learn how to cooperate, share, and interpret emotions. For children with autism, however, it provides a unique opportunity to practice social skills in a safe and engaging environment. Many autistic children engage in parallel play (playing beside others without direct interaction) rather than cooperative play (playing with shared goals or roles). This doesn’t mean they lack interest in others it simply reflects a different developmental trajectory.
Through structured and supported play, these early stages can gradually evolve into more interactive experiences. Games that involve turn-taking, imitation, or shared goals help children learn the rhythm of social exchange. For example, a simple game of rolling a ball back and forth introduces waiting, anticipation, and shared joy core components of social bonding.
Types of Play That Build Connection
Sensory Play: Many children with autism are highly sensitive to sensory input. Activities like playing with sand, water, clay, or textured materials can provide calming sensory feedback while fostering shared experiences. Engaging in these activities alongside peers helps children connect through touch, rhythm, and shared focus often without needing words.
Pretend Play: Pretend play is powerful for social and emotional development, yet it can be challenging for children with autism who may find abstract or imaginative thinking difficult. Adults can model pretend play using dolls, animals, or role-play scenarios to make it accessible. Gradually, children learn to interpret emotions and perspectives different from their own, building the foundation for empathy and understanding.
Structured Games: Board games, puzzles, or activities with clear rules can offer predictability something many autistic children find reassuring. Games like “Simon Says,” “Follow the Leader,” or cooperative building activities encourage turn-taking and teamwork while minimizing social confusion.
Music and Movement Play: Singing, drumming, or dancing together helps children connect through rhythm and shared enjoyment. These activities are especially effective for children who are nonverbal or have limited language skills, as they allow communication through body movement and sound.
The Adult’s Role: Guiding Without Controlling
Adults whether parents, teachers, or therapists play a crucial role in making playtime meaningful. Their presence provides safety and structure, allowing children to explore social interactions at their own pace. The goal is not to direct or dominate the play but to follow the child’s lead and gently expand it.
For example, if a child is lining up cars, an adult might join by adding one to the line or describing what the car is doing. This respectful engagement builds trust and models reciprocity. Over time, these small shared moments evolve into richer social exchanges.
Encouraging Peer Involvement
Peer interaction can be one of the most rewarding outcomes of play-based learning. Neurotypical peers, when guided appropriately, can become wonderful play partners and models for social behavior. Structured settings—like inclusive classrooms or supervised playgroups help ensure these interactions remain positive.
Adults can coach peers to:
-
Wait for a child’s response rather than prompting repeatedly.
-
Celebrate small attempts at communication.
-
Include everyone in activities without making anyone feel singled out.
These strategies teach neurotypical children empathy and patience while giving children with autism valuable opportunities for social learning.
Creating an Inclusive Play Environment
An inclusive play environment values all forms of communication whether through gestures, words, or actions. It might include:
-
Visual supports (pictures or symbols) to clarify expectations and routines.
-
Sensory-friendly zones for children who need breaks from noise or crowds.
-
Flexible play materials that invite participation in multiple ways (e.g., building blocks, musical instruments, or art supplies).
Such environments reduce stress and allow children with autism to engage meaningfully in their own way.
The Joy of Connection
When a child on the autism spectrum makes eye contact during play, laughs alongside a peer, or reaches out to share a toy, it’s more than just a moment it’s a milestone. Each of these experiences builds confidence, empathy, and belonging.
Play reminds us that connection doesn’t always require words it thrives in shared laughter, rhythm, and discovery. By embracing play as both a joyful activity and a developmental tool, we open doors for children with autism to build friendships and experience the warmth of human connection.
