By Siyona Varghese
In early childhood, particularly between ages 5 and 7, children begin to develop deeper social awareness. Friendships become more selective, and group dynamics start to take shape. During this time, it’s common for children to form tightly knit peer groups—what adults might describe as “cliques.” While the term often carries negative connotations, these early formations are not inherently harmful. However, they can sometimes lead to exclusion, which affects a child’s emotional well-being and sense of belonging.
Understanding the nature of cliques and social exclusion during early childhood is essential for parents, educators, and caregivers who wish to foster inclusive and emotionally healthy environments.
Why Cliques Form
Children in early childhood are learning who they are in relation to others. They often bond with peers who have similar interests, play styles, or temperaments. Group belonging provides comfort and stability in a world where so much is new. Small, consistent peer groups can help children develop social skills such as cooperation, communication, and empathy.
However, as children gravitate toward familiar peers, they may begin to exclude others—intentionally or unintentionally. Exclusion might be as simple as saying, “You can’t play with us,” or deliberately ignoring a child during group activities. While it may appear harmless or age-appropriate, repeated exclusion can lead to feelings of rejection, loneliness, and low self-esteem in the child left out.
The Impact of Exclusion
At this developmental stage, children are highly sensitive to peer acceptance. Being excluded—even in small or subtle ways—can be deeply upsetting. Children may struggle to understand why they are not included or may begin to believe something is wrong with them. Long-term or repeated exclusion can result in increased anxiety, reluctance to attend school, or aggression.
Moreover, children in the “in-group” also face risks. If exclusivity is reinforced as normal or rewarded with attention, they may learn to value status over kindness, or fail to develop empathy for others outside their circle.
Recognizing the Signs
Signs that a child may be experiencing exclusion include:
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Withdrawal or hesitation during group activities
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Frequent complaints about peers or not having friends
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Sudden changes in mood before or after school
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Imitating exclusionary behavior toward others
On the other hand, children in dominant cliques may show signs of controlling behavior, reluctance to include others, or forming rules around who can or cannot join their games.
Supporting Healthy Peer Relationships
Adults play a key role in guiding children through these early social challenges. Helpful strategies include:
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Modeling inclusion: Show children how to welcome others into conversations and games.
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Facilitating mixed playgroups: Encourage children to interact with a variety of peers to broaden their social skills.
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Discussing feelings and fairness: Use books and group discussions to explore how exclusion feels and why it matters.
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Teaching assertiveness and empathy: Help excluded children find ways to join play respectfully, while teaching others how to notice and include peers.
Conclusion
Cliques and exclusion in early childhood are part of normal social development, but they must be addressed thoughtfully. With adult guidance, children can learn that friendships don’t have to be exclusive, and that kindness and inclusion are just as important as fun and familiarity. These early lessons lay the groundwork for more compassionate, socially aware behavior as they
